Jessica's Story

My name is Jessica Jenson, and I love being tall.

I'm also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

You may be wondering how those two statements have anything to do with each other. I assure you, they have everything to do with each other. They are my story.

I didn't always love being tall. In fact, until just a few years ago, I absolutely hated it. I hated struggling to find cute clothes, I hated wearing shoes until they fell apart because size 12 shoes are expensive. But most of all, I hated the comments I heard everywhere I went. By the time I reached seventh grade, my self-esteem had hit rock bottom. I let the other kids' malicious comments define who I thought I was--a freak. And the sad thing is that after a while, I began to believe it.

Time went on, and suddenly high school was around the corner. In my faith, we are asked not to date until the age of 16. I was fine with this, because I thought that I would probably never go on a date anyway. I tried to convince myself that I was OK with not going to any school dances, something that I had dreamed of going to since I was a little girl. I prayed every night for the strength to be OK with myself, and for the strength to survive the nights of the dances I was convinced I would never attend. Then, one night, I began to ask for the chance to attend at least one dance. I don't remember what inspired that change, but I stuck to it.

Fast forward again, and I found myself starting my Sophomore year. During that year, I made some really good friends. I had known these girls for years, but that year they became my absolute best friends. They showed me how to be comfortable with myself, and to this day they are wonderful examples to me. I did well in school, and started to really believe in myself. I began to really study my scriptures- the Bible as well as the Book of Mormon. Comments people made about my height began to just slide off. I was able to ignore them, and often even laugh at them.

But then, I remembered-- my sweet sixteen was approaching. My self-esteem was still too low to even hope to ever go on a date. Then, another factor was thrown in. As my Mom and I began to plan my birthday party, I was made aware of the fact that the Saturday after my birthday--the day we were planning to have my party--was Prom. I knew that some of my friends would be going, so we postponed my party until the next weekend.

Nine days before my birthday, my day started out pretty normally. I woke up early to finish some homework, went to school, and rode the bus home. As I sat down at the computer to do more homework, someone pounded on my front door. I answered it and, to my surprise, found a gorilla standing on my doorstep. Next to the gorilla (which I later found out was a mutual friend in a gorilla suit) was a young man who lived nearby. He handed me a bunch of bananas, and said, "I'd go bananas if you'd go to Prom with me!"

I was so surprised, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. My brain refused to function, so I stuttered and probably said something stupid before I could get my "Yes!" out. :) After they left, I pretty much just stood in the front entry way for a minute or two in complete shock. It took a few days before I could finally believe that I was going to Prom. I was so amazed that I had such a great friend who would be willing to take me to a dance. My prayers that night changed. I was so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who had heard my prayers and was letting me have this experience.

Now we fast forward again! Prom was wonderful. I had so much fun and I felt like a fairytale princess in my sparkly dress. However, life went on, and soon, it was summer! Summer that year brought my fifth year of attending my church's Girls' Camp, a five-day camp where the young women in our area get together to have fun and learn about the gospel. That year, I was finally old enough to serve as a Youth Camp Leader, or a YCL. As a YCL, I was assigned to help the first-year campers with pretty much everything. I was blessed to get to know ten 12-year-old girls through that week, and I learned a lot about myself.

The first night of Girls' Camp, I found myself lying in my bunk, trying to get some sleep while listening to all the younger girls whisper to each other and roll around in their own bunks. Our leaders had tried several times to get them to quiet down, all to no avail. Finally, in desperation, I asked if there was anything I could do to help them go to sleep. The girls responded by asking me to sing them a lullaby.

I did. And once they were all asleep, I stayed awake for a good half hour more, absolutely shocked. The year before I never would have done that. The year before I would have laughed, made up an excuse, and gone back to trying to sleep over their noise. But that night, I was confident enough to sing twelve homesick girls to sleep.

Later in that week, we participated in a Faith Walk. We were divided into small groups and sent along a path in the woods. Our leaders were placed periodically on the path, dressed up as people from the Savior's time. Each shared a story about Christ and gave us a small object to remember the story by: a piece of straw from the innkeeper's wife, a piece of fabric from the woman with an issue of blood who was healed by touching Christ's robe. Finally we were blindfolded and handed an olive, a thorn, and finally, a nail. As our leaders read the account of Christ's Atonement and death, I felt the Spirit strongly. I was so amazed that our Savior suffered so much to help me, and suddenly I felt so much love from Him who suffered everything I have ever suffered. It dawned on me that He knows exactly how it feels to struggle with being tall. He knows how it feels to be stared at and laughed at as you walk down the hall. He knows how it feels to walk out of a store empty-handed because their pants weren't long enough. He knows! He knows my imperfections, my insecurities, and my heart. And suddenly, I felt so ashamed for complaining all those years about my height.

That Girls' Camp changed my life forever. I was able to start my Junior year with confidence--a feeling I had never truly felt before. Of course, I still have some really hard days, and sometimes I wish I could wear two inch heels without hitting my head on doorways, but overall, I am happy being me. I know that there is a God in Heaven, and I know that He loves me and hears and answers my prayers. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior, and that whenever I feel down or frustrated, I can turn to Him because He knows exactly what I need to overcome whatever challenge I'm facing.

And now, Jessica Jenson isn't afraid anymore. I asked boys to nearly every girl's choice dance during high school, something I couldn't see myself doing just months before my 16th birthday. I still get comments, but they just slide off. I am OK with myself-- in fact, I love being me! I'm grateful that I am tall, because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have the wonderful blessings I do today.

I want to make sure that all the girls I interact with know that they too are beautiful and loved. I want to make sure my friends know that they are beautiful and loved. I don't want any more girls to go through a struggle like mine-- I want all girls to know that they are beautiful and loved! So, that's the purpose of this blog-- to show every single girl who reads it how absolutely beautiful she is, tell her how much she is loved by God, and to help her with the struggles of being a girl. And hopefully, someday every girl--tall or short--will be able to look in the mirror and tell herself, "I love being me!"

A tall girl is a beautiful girl. Don't ever forget it.