Summer Adventures

Well, I'm moving to BYU next week. Do you know how weird that is? Really weird. I'm super excited, but I'm a little sad too, because it means that summer is over!

 

The past three months have been absolutely fantastic. It's probably been my best summer yet. My friends and I had a lot of new adventures, from running races with Breanna to shopping for college stuff with Brianna to Institute with the Lunch Bunch. We also had to say goodbye to our friends that have chosen to serve LDS missions for the next two years. I'm super proud of them and I wish I could have made it to all of their farewells, but Nauvoo dictated otherwise...

 



Breanna and I after our first 5K of the summer!

 

Farewells with the Lunch Bunch

 

In June, my family headed off to Nauvoo, Illinois. This year we were blessed to participate in both the Nauvoo Pageant and the British Pageant. It was so cool to be able to represent the early members of the LDS church and my ancestors. We all learned so much and felt the Spirit.

 

One of the lessons I learned from Nauvoo was that I need to stop worrying so much. For months, I had stressed over college and dorms and scholarships and registration and other important things to the point that I was no longer excited to go. But in Nauvoo, that changed. During the first week we were there, we learned TWO full-length pageants, learned the music, figured out costumes, and had two dress rehearsals. In the drama world, this is unheard of. The directors should have made us work scenes over and over, stressing over every single little detail, but guess what? They didn't. They gave instruction, told us to do our best, let us run it a few times, assured us it was good, and moved on. I was amazed. Our wonderful directors took what we had to offer and made it work instead of stressing over what we didn't have. This made me realize that I spent WAY too much time stressing over what I thought I wasn't ready for. So now, I'm just doing what I can do, and not worrying about anything else. If it's outside of my control, why stress? Just do the best you can, and let the Lord do the rest. You are enough. 

 

The GORGEOUS Nauvoo Temple. Sorry the picture quality is awful... silly phone cameras...

 

After Nauvoo (or Britvoo, as it's been dubbed this summer), the fun only continued. There were more missionary farewells, another 5k (thanks Breanna, that was fun), more college prep, a craft day with Brianna for our apartment, a family reunion, a camping trip, Girl's Camp (I got to go as a leader this year! I was so happy!), and a bunch of pretty fantastic adventures with Tanner. A word of advice: If you're ever a Girl's Camp leader, never leave your phone where your girls might find it. I had sooo many selfies on my phone when I got home. Chicas, you have no idea how close I was to posting them here. ;)

We got to tour the beautiful, newly remodeled Ogden Temple! It's amazing.

 

Don't you just love our styling life jackets? ;)

 

It really was a great summer. Now my sisters are headed back to school, and get this, Emylee is starting high school. I took her on a tour of my old school a few days ago. It was so surreal. But the good news is that I am officially excited for college again! My friends are going in all different directions, which is a big, hard change, but I'm so grateful that Brianna, Breanna, and Rachel will be at BYU with me. I'm really looking forward to a great Freshman year. Plus, Brianna and I have found and made some great dorm stuff, so our apartment is going to be totally adorable. Who wouldn't be excited? ;)

 

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day!

Graduation

Well, summer is almost over, and I have posted nothing. The past three months have been insane, but what's new? ;) I have a lot to write about, but graduation and the end of my senior year deserves its own post. So look out for summer posts in the next couple of days, and enjoy the following on graduation and the end of the school year. :)

The last month of school was an absolute blast. Granted, it was incredibly stressful and I'm pretty sure I almost had the third A- of my high school career (gasp!) but I survived and had the best last month of high school possible--especially after AP tests were over.

We had our final choir concert, which was Disney themed and absolutely fantastic. Chamber sang "Under the Sea," "Trashing the Camp," and "We're All in This Together." It was fabulous. Meanwhile, we were also furiously learning graduation music plus the coolest arrangements of "In Flanders Field" and "America the Beautiful" for a Memorial Day service. Choir really ended with a bang! It was so hard to leave Mrs. Warby and Chamber--we've been through so much together this year, and we've had a ton of fun. I miss them all, and I'm so grateful I had the privilege to work with and learn from this amazing group of people.

There was a school activity every weekend in May, so my friends and I pretty much had a party all month. We had a fabulous Senior Dinner Dance, a fun day at Lagoon, Cavestock, and our all-night graduation party! Unfortunately, we only got a few pictures of these events, and this is the only one I have, so here it is. :)

Graduation, however, was well documented. :) That morning, three of my best friends and I had a photo shoot with the amazing Mandy Douglass, who is one of my favorite people ever! Here are some of my favorites:  

We had fun. :)

And then, we graduated! I got to sit up on the stand with a bunch of my friends and fellow Sterling Scholars and stare out at all the kids I have gone to school with for almost twelve years. It was a little sad to realize that our time together was over, but I'm so excited to see what the wonderful class of 2014 does. It's going to be great!

Funny story, though. I almost messed up my walk to get my diploma. I paused in front of the big AF sign to get a picture just like I was supposed to, but then I almost walked back to my seat. I corrected my path after a second or two, but the superintendent noticed and was laughing really hard by the time I got to him. I got my diploma and shook the principle's hand and then the superintendent's wife's hand. She whispered in my ear "I just love it when women are smart. Keep it up." I was choking. She apparently didn't see my major blond moment just seconds earlier. But my family did, and they have it on film, which I am just so thrilled about. ;)

Speaking of my family, I have to pause and talk about them for a minute. They are amazing. I love them so much, and I am so grateful for everything they have done for me over the past eighteen years. I am so blessed to have two amazing younger sisters and a hilarious younger brother and the most awesome parents ever. And then I have fabulous grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. Thanks for supporting me, y'all. :)

My favorite Emylee on the face of the planet... ;)

Lenny came and surprised us! We had a Justice reunion! :)

Some of the "Lunch Bunch"... sorry we missed half of you...



Afterwards, we stayed up all night playing Clue, eating junk food, and playing Mario Kart. It was pretty fantastic.

So there you go! The end of high school was a bit sad, but it was a ton of fun. I'm so grateful for the wonderful friends I had during the past three years. They are all heading off on LDS missions and to college, and I am so proud of them. They have been such marvelous examples of strength, faith, and hard work to me, and I know I wouldn't have survived high school without them. These people rock!

Well, thanks for reading this really long post. :) Have a wonderful day!



Tall Thoughts

Hey everyone!
I'm so sorry I've been silent for the past three months. I've been working on important decisions and getting ready to graduate, and unfortunately that meant that I did not get to update Beautiful Heights! But now I'm back, so let's catch up!

THE decision has been made... (drumroll here)... I'm going to BYU! I'm super excited. And guess what? BYU has a tall people club. Guess who is going to join ASAP? :) Other than making that decision, I've been doing homework, going on choir tour, and doing senior-in-high-school stuff.

But enough about that. Let's talk about being tall for a moment, shall we? I haven't done that in a while.

Being tall is tough. Now that I'm about to graduate, when I look back I'm surprised at how much I've grown (pun totally intended) as I've come to terms with--and even to love--my height. It's been a long, hard journey. Some days are much better than others. Other days are really rough (particularly jean shopping days... enough said). But do you know what? I've decided tall girls are some of the best girls out there. We're pretty much the coolest (please notice the "some of" and the "pretty much," my shorter friends. Ha ha). But honestly, there are not many people in the world who have one of their trials and insecurities visible for all to see every single day of their lives, raw and exposed to all who wish to stomp on it. And stomp on it they do. (Whoa! Sounded like Yoda, that did!) But do you know what? It's ok! Granted, sometimes I have to remind myself of this fact after I have yet another "tall" conversation with a dear soul (side note: I think I need to make myself a shirt that says "I'm 6'3'', I play basketball, I don't play volleyball, and yes, I do enjoy my height. Any other questions?), but being tall is wonderful. It teaches us patience, kindness, and a sense of humor, and through my height I've come to know my Savior and myself. I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, there's my tall rant for the day. :) Oh, and on a tangent, remember when I posted that Beautiful Heights had 1,000 views? Well, thanks to you wonderful readers, we are soaring above 2,000 and quickly approaching 3,000 views from all over the world! That is incredible. Thank you so much!

And as usual, thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day! :)

Letting Go

Well, if you have been reading Beautiful Heights for the past year, you probably know that I am OBSESSED with Disney. I love Disney movies, Disney music, Disney toys, Disney clothes, Disney Pinterest pins... you get the idea. :) So obviously my latest obsession is over the movie Frozen. I absolutely love this movie. I may or may not have a count down going until it comes on to DVD (it's a month and four days, just so you know).

Along with all the other Frozen fans, Elsa's song Let it Go has pretty much become my theme song--especially this week. On Tuesday, I had regional interviews for Sterling Scholar. I had been preparing since November for this interview. Needless to say, I was terrified. On the drive there, my mom turned on our Frozen CD and we belted along with Elsa. I went to my interview with a mix of Let it Go and primary songs running through my head, desperately fighting to stop my hands and voice from shaking. Afterwards, I felt like my interview was the best I could do, and all I could do was to wait for Thursday, when I would find out if I made it to State.

I didn't.

I can't even describe how disappointed I am. I have poured four months of my life into this endeavor, just to have it squashed and taken away. But I have to move on from the disappointment, the pain, and the frustration. I have to let it go.

So while I'm learning this life lesson that we all need to know, please enjoy the super talented Alex Boye's rendition of Let it Go, and remember that we all need to let things go in our life--pain, disappointment, anger, grudges, low self-esteem, etc. Good luck, and thanks for reading!

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately about life the past few months. My senior year has been absolutely amazing and I have grown in ways I never thought possible, but that growth has come at a cost. My senior year has been almost completely opposite of what I planned for myself and for my friends. I have watched (and am still watching) my closest friends go through incredibly hard trials, and I am left to wonder "Why us? Why now?"

After thinking about this for several months, I think I've finally come to a conclusion. All the trials my friends and I have gone through--brain tumors, depression, concussions, severe illness, etc.--have made us stronger. We haven't just endured, we've lived. We've taken time to appreciate each other and our families. Our focus on what is really important has returned. And we've learned to never take a day or human being for granted.

There are days, weeks, months, and even years of hardship ahead for everyone here on earth. And even though I sometimes kick and moan and whine about my trials, they are the one teacher that has taught me to live.

So take the time to live--really live--today. Choose friends with positive attitudes and great senses of humor. Be grateful. Spend time with those who matter most before you give attention to those who don't. Cherish the little moments. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Read. Just live.

Why not now? Why not us?

Trust

Hey everyone!

I am so sorry I've been quiet the past two months. My life has been a little crazy lately, but it's good. Life is good! :)

Anyway, I have had a cool experience over the past few weeks. Ever since tenth grade, I have wanted to be my high school's English Sterling Scholar. For those of you who are not familiar with the Sterling Scholar program, I will explain! Each high school in Utah is grouped into a region, and each region has a separate Sterling Scholar "competition". Every high school in the region sends one senior nominee from several different categories to the region level. Each nominee is judged by their portfolio, interview, academics, leadership, etc. It's a lot of work, but the winners get scholarships, so it's worth the time and effort. To become a Sterling Scholar nominee at my school, you have to submit an application, be interviewed, and, in the English department's case, turn in a writing sample.

So, I applied! I was proud of my application and thought I might have a chance, but then I got the date and time for my interview. My parents would be out of town, and I would have no one to practice interview questions with. Then, on top of that, I caught a cold and had a cough. Needless to say, I was terrified.

Fortunately, my grandparents were staying with me and my siblings. They helped me run through a sample interview and gave me plenty of helpful tips. A wonderful neighbor sent me sample questions to answer. And finally, my grandpa gave me a blessing. In that blessing, he promised me that my cough would not be a problem during my interview and that I would have an answer for every question the interviewers asked.

The next morning, I headed off to my interview. I coughed all the way up to the doors of my high school, and then it disappeared. I was able to answer all of the interviewers' questions, and they even seemed to like some of my thoughts! I walked out of that interview knowing I had done my very best.

However, I wouldn't know the results for another two weeks or so. I prayed every night that whoever needed to be the English Sterling Scholar would be chosen and for the strength to be happy for whoever won. After a few days of stress, I decided I would just trust in Heavenly Father and let him figure out what was right. I wish I could say all my nerves went away, but they did decrease!

Finally, the day arrived. The principal called all the applicants down to the front office and gave a speech about how we were all great students and that the choice had been really hard. By this time, I didn't care who won. I just wanted to know and move on! Finally he let us go, and a few minutes later the winners were announced over the intercom. To my surprise, the intercom blasted my name!

While I was really excited, I also felt really bad. I had a few friends who also tried for English Sterling Scholar, and it was hard knowing that they were probably hurt. Luckily my friends are amazing sports, and I know that our Heavenly Father has bigger and better things than Sterling Scholar in store for them. They are too phenomenal to have anything less!

From this experience, I have learned one big lesson. Corrie ten Boom says it much better than I can, so we'll let her!

He knows what is going to happen. So stop worrying and let him guide you, whether you are applying for Sterling Scholar or making a major life decision! (Like which college to go to. Oh joy.)

Have a wonderful week, and thanks for reading!

Finding Triumph

I'll be brutally honest with all of you. The past month and a half have been probably the hardest month and a half of my life. Unfortunately for all of you reading for this, I'm not the pretty, heroic sufferer type, so prepare to read the good, the bad, and the ugly. :)

As I started my senior year, I expected one thing: normality. I thought that it would be much like my other years of schooling, with the exception of applying for college and scholarships. I looked forward to being with my friends again. I expected certain classes to be a challenge, but I felt confident I could keep up and do well. I thought my life would be (somewhat) calm.

How wrong I was.

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, one of my best friends was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the third day of school. While I definitely was not the person who suffered the most through that hard time (she herself gets that award, closely followed by her family), I felt a lot of pain. Even now, realizing how crazily close I came to losing one of my best friends, I feel so lost. I thought I had "gotten over" it and moved on, but apparently, I have not. My school work has suffered. My grades have hit an ultimate low, and my attendance record is far from perfect. I have lost my former desire to excel in classes, to an extent, and it's hard to get up some mornings, knowing I'll have to go to school. The thought of applying for college and scholarships has become overwhelming. I stress out over ridiculously small things. I've had little or no desire to attend church meetings. In short, I've been depressed.

Just when I thought things could not get any worse, I received news of the unexpected death of a friend. This boy, Adam, was a member of my family cast from Nauvoo. He had really made me feel welcome and special during those two weeks. After the pageant, my family got to visit their home and spend a day with them again, which is a memory I cherish. Adam had the best smile and the kindest personality. It really hit me hard to hear about his death. I still can't believe he's gone.

I've entered a sort of dark hole, if you will, that I'm really struggling to get out of. I tried to do it on my own (silly me, I know), and when that didn't work, I got really frustrated. I was just kind of angry in general. I felt abandoned and unloved and lost.  My Mom pulled me aside one night, and let me cry and whine on her shoulder for a good hour or so. She then counseled me to say my prayers more sincerely and to read my scriptures more intently. I did so that night, and ran across this scripture. It reads:

"But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me--but he will show that he hath not. For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

1 Nephi 21:14-16

 

I bawled after reading that. I was not forgotten. I was--am!--loved. I have a Savior who knows exactly what I'm going through, and He will not leave me. I took a lot of comfort and strength from this, and made it through a hard weekend and a few more days. . . and then lost it again. I struggled all through last week, and by the time General Conference rolled around, I was just done. I ached for something to be said during Conference that would help me, but when nothing came (probably because I was too busy wallowing in self pity), I felt alone and abandoned once more.

 

Finally, after going down into my room, I felt like I should pray. I knelt down and poured out complaint after complaint to the Lord, and do you know what? He listened. After I had finished my list of worries and fears and hurts, I felt such a quiet peace and love--something I have not felt in a month and a half. Those doubts, stresses, pains, and fears are still there, but I know that I can make it through. This month and a half of depression is not the end. I have a direction. I have an end goal. And it will be all right. With the Lord's help, I will be able to do anything.

 

My Lord has not forsaken me. And neither has my family or friends.

 

"My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment . . . [and] thou shalt triumph."

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8