Hey everyone!
I'm so sorry I've been silent for the past three months. I've been working on important decisions and getting ready to graduate, and unfortunately that meant that I did not get to update Beautiful Heights! But now I'm back, so let's catch up!
THE decision has been made... (drumroll here)... I'm going to BYU! I'm super excited. And guess what? BYU has a tall people club. Guess who is going to join ASAP? :) Other than making that decision, I've been doing homework, going on choir tour, and doing senior-in-high-school stuff.
But enough about that. Let's talk about being tall for a moment, shall we? I haven't done that in a while.
Being tall is tough. Now that I'm about to graduate, when I look back I'm surprised at how much I've grown (pun totally intended) as I've come to terms with--and even to love--my height. It's been a long, hard journey. Some days are much better than others. Other days are really rough (particularly jean shopping days... enough said). But do you know what? I've decided tall girls are some of the best girls out there. We're pretty much the coolest (please notice the "some of" and the "pretty much," my shorter friends. Ha ha). But honestly, there are not many people in the world who have one of their trials and insecurities visible for all to see every single day of their lives, raw and exposed to all who wish to stomp on it. And stomp on it they do. (Whoa! Sounded like Yoda, that did!) But do you know what? It's ok! Granted, sometimes I have to remind myself of this fact after I have yet another "tall" conversation with a dear soul (side note: I think I need to make myself a shirt that says "I'm 6'3'', I play basketball, I don't play volleyball, and yes, I do enjoy my height. Any other questions?), but being tall is wonderful. It teaches us patience, kindness, and a sense of humor, and through my height I've come to know my Savior and myself. I wouldn't have it any other way.
So, there's my tall rant for the day. :) Oh, and on a tangent, remember when I posted that Beautiful Heights had 1,000 views? Well, thanks to you wonderful readers, we are soaring above 2,000 and quickly approaching 3,000 views from all over the world! That is incredible. Thank you so much!
And as usual, thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day! :)
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
Letting Go
Well, if you have been reading Beautiful Heights for the past year, you probably know that I am OBSESSED with Disney. I love Disney movies, Disney music, Disney toys, Disney clothes, Disney Pinterest pins... you get the idea. :) So obviously my latest obsession is over the movie Frozen. I absolutely love this movie. I may or may not have a count down going until it comes on to DVD (it's a month and four days, just so you know).
Along with all the other Frozen fans, Elsa's song Let it Go has pretty much become my theme song--especially this week. On Tuesday, I had regional interviews for Sterling Scholar. I had been preparing since November for this interview. Needless to say, I was terrified. On the drive there, my mom turned on our Frozen CD and we belted along with Elsa. I went to my interview with a mix of Let it Go and primary songs running through my head, desperately fighting to stop my hands and voice from shaking. Afterwards, I felt like my interview was the best I could do, and all I could do was to wait for Thursday, when I would find out if I made it to State.
I didn't.
I can't even describe how disappointed I am. I have poured four months of my life into this endeavor, just to have it squashed and taken away. But I have to move on from the disappointment, the pain, and the frustration. I have to let it go.
So while I'm learning this life lesson that we all need to know, please enjoy the super talented Alex Boye's rendition of Let it Go, and remember that we all need to let things go in our life--pain, disappointment, anger, grudges, low self-esteem, etc. Good luck, and thanks for reading!
Monday, February 3, 2014
Thoughts
I've been thinking a lot lately about life the past few months. My senior year has been absolutely amazing and I have grown in ways I never thought possible, but that growth has come at a cost. My senior year has been almost completely opposite of what I planned for myself and for my friends. I have watched (and am still watching) my closest friends go through incredibly hard trials, and I am left to wonder "Why us? Why now?"
After thinking about this for several months, I think I've finally come to a conclusion. All the trials my friends and I have gone through--brain tumors, depression, concussions, severe illness, etc.--have made us stronger. We haven't just endured, we've lived. We've taken time to appreciate each other and our families. Our focus on what is really important has returned. And we've learned to never take a day or human being for granted.
There are days, weeks, months, and even years of hardship ahead for everyone here on earth. And even though I sometimes kick and moan and whine about my trials, they are the one teacher that has taught me to live.
So take the time to live--really live--today. Choose friends with positive attitudes and great senses of humor. Be grateful. Spend time with those who matter most before you give attention to those who don't. Cherish the little moments. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Read. Just live.
Why not now? Why not us?
After thinking about this for several months, I think I've finally come to a conclusion. All the trials my friends and I have gone through--brain tumors, depression, concussions, severe illness, etc.--have made us stronger. We haven't just endured, we've lived. We've taken time to appreciate each other and our families. Our focus on what is really important has returned. And we've learned to never take a day or human being for granted.
There are days, weeks, months, and even years of hardship ahead for everyone here on earth. And even though I sometimes kick and moan and whine about my trials, they are the one teacher that has taught me to live.
So take the time to live--really live--today. Choose friends with positive attitudes and great senses of humor. Be grateful. Spend time with those who matter most before you give attention to those who don't. Cherish the little moments. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Read. Just live.
Why not now? Why not us?
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Trust
Hey everyone!
I am so sorry I've been quiet the past two months. My life has been a little crazy lately, but it's good. Life is good! :)
Anyway, I have had a cool experience over the past few weeks. Ever since tenth grade, I have wanted to be my high school's English Sterling Scholar. For those of you who are not familiar with the Sterling Scholar program, I will explain! Each high school in Utah is grouped into a region, and each region has a separate Sterling Scholar "competition". Every high school in the region sends one senior nominee from several different categories to the region level. Each nominee is judged by their portfolio, interview, academics, leadership, etc. It's a lot of work, but the winners get scholarships, so it's worth the time and effort. To become a Sterling Scholar nominee at my school, you have to submit an application, be interviewed, and, in the English department's case, turn in a writing sample.
So, I applied! I was proud of my application and thought I might have a chance, but then I got the date and time for my interview. My parents would be out of town, and I would have no one to practice interview questions with. Then, on top of that, I caught a cold and had a cough. Needless to say, I was terrified.
Fortunately, my grandparents were staying with me and my siblings. They helped me run through a sample interview and gave me plenty of helpful tips. A wonderful neighbor sent me sample questions to answer. And finally, my grandpa gave me a blessing. In that blessing, he promised me that my cough would not be a problem during my interview and that I would have an answer for every question the interviewers asked.
The next morning, I headed off to my interview. I coughed all the way up to the doors of my high school, and then it disappeared. I was able to answer all of the interviewers' questions, and they even seemed to like some of my thoughts! I walked out of that interview knowing I had done my very best.
However, I wouldn't know the results for another two weeks or so. I prayed every night that whoever needed to be the English Sterling Scholar would be chosen and for the strength to be happy for whoever won. After a few days of stress, I decided I would just trust in Heavenly Father and let him figure out what was right. I wish I could say all my nerves went away, but they did decrease!
Finally, the day arrived. The principal called all the applicants down to the front office and gave a speech about how we were all great students and that the choice had been really hard. By this time, I didn't care who won. I just wanted to know and move on! Finally he let us go, and a few minutes later the winners were announced over the intercom. To my surprise, the intercom blasted my name!
While I was really excited, I also felt really bad. I had a few friends who also tried for English Sterling Scholar, and it was hard knowing that they were probably hurt. Luckily my friends are amazing sports, and I know that our Heavenly Father has bigger and better things than Sterling Scholar in store for them. They are too phenomenal to have anything less!
From this experience, I have learned one big lesson. Corrie ten Boom says it much better than I can, so we'll let her!
He knows what is going to happen. So stop worrying and let him guide you, whether you are applying for Sterling Scholar or making a major life decision! (Like which college to go to. Oh joy.)
Have a wonderful week, and thanks for reading!
I am so sorry I've been quiet the past two months. My life has been a little crazy lately, but it's good. Life is good! :)
Anyway, I have had a cool experience over the past few weeks. Ever since tenth grade, I have wanted to be my high school's English Sterling Scholar. For those of you who are not familiar with the Sterling Scholar program, I will explain! Each high school in Utah is grouped into a region, and each region has a separate Sterling Scholar "competition". Every high school in the region sends one senior nominee from several different categories to the region level. Each nominee is judged by their portfolio, interview, academics, leadership, etc. It's a lot of work, but the winners get scholarships, so it's worth the time and effort. To become a Sterling Scholar nominee at my school, you have to submit an application, be interviewed, and, in the English department's case, turn in a writing sample.
So, I applied! I was proud of my application and thought I might have a chance, but then I got the date and time for my interview. My parents would be out of town, and I would have no one to practice interview questions with. Then, on top of that, I caught a cold and had a cough. Needless to say, I was terrified.
Fortunately, my grandparents were staying with me and my siblings. They helped me run through a sample interview and gave me plenty of helpful tips. A wonderful neighbor sent me sample questions to answer. And finally, my grandpa gave me a blessing. In that blessing, he promised me that my cough would not be a problem during my interview and that I would have an answer for every question the interviewers asked.
The next morning, I headed off to my interview. I coughed all the way up to the doors of my high school, and then it disappeared. I was able to answer all of the interviewers' questions, and they even seemed to like some of my thoughts! I walked out of that interview knowing I had done my very best.
However, I wouldn't know the results for another two weeks or so. I prayed every night that whoever needed to be the English Sterling Scholar would be chosen and for the strength to be happy for whoever won. After a few days of stress, I decided I would just trust in Heavenly Father and let him figure out what was right. I wish I could say all my nerves went away, but they did decrease!
Finally, the day arrived. The principal called all the applicants down to the front office and gave a speech about how we were all great students and that the choice had been really hard. By this time, I didn't care who won. I just wanted to know and move on! Finally he let us go, and a few minutes later the winners were announced over the intercom. To my surprise, the intercom blasted my name!
While I was really excited, I also felt really bad. I had a few friends who also tried for English Sterling Scholar, and it was hard knowing that they were probably hurt. Luckily my friends are amazing sports, and I know that our Heavenly Father has bigger and better things than Sterling Scholar in store for them. They are too phenomenal to have anything less!
From this experience, I have learned one big lesson. Corrie ten Boom says it much better than I can, so we'll let her!
He knows what is going to happen. So stop worrying and let him guide you, whether you are applying for Sterling Scholar or making a major life decision! (Like which college to go to. Oh joy.)
Have a wonderful week, and thanks for reading!
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Finding Triumph
I'll be brutally honest with all of you. The past month and a half have been probably the hardest month and a half of my life. Unfortunately for all of you reading for this, I'm not the pretty, heroic sufferer type, so prepare to read the good, the bad, and the ugly. :)
As I started my senior year, I expected one thing: normality. I thought that it would be much like my other years of schooling, with the exception of applying for college and scholarships. I looked forward to being with my friends again. I expected certain classes to be a challenge, but I felt confident I could keep up and do well. I thought my life would be (somewhat) calm.
How wrong I was.
As I've mentioned in earlier posts, one of my best friends was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the third day of school. While I definitely was not the person who suffered the most through that hard time (she herself gets that award, closely followed by her family), I felt a lot of pain. Even now, realizing how crazily close I came to losing one of my best friends, I feel so lost. I thought I had "gotten over" it and moved on, but apparently, I have not. My school work has suffered. My grades have hit an ultimate low, and my attendance record is far from perfect. I have lost my former desire to excel in classes, to an extent, and it's hard to get up some mornings, knowing I'll have to go to school. The thought of applying for college and scholarships has become overwhelming. I stress out over ridiculously small things. I've had little or no desire to attend church meetings. In short, I've been depressed.
Just when I thought things could not get any worse, I received news of the unexpected death of a friend. This boy, Adam, was a member of my family cast from Nauvoo. He had really made me feel welcome and special during those two weeks. After the pageant, my family got to visit their home and spend a day with them again, which is a memory I cherish. Adam had the best smile and the kindest personality. It really hit me hard to hear about his death. I still can't believe he's gone.
I've entered a sort of dark hole, if you will, that I'm really struggling to get out of. I tried to do it on my own (silly me, I know), and when that didn't work, I got really frustrated. I was just kind of angry in general. I felt abandoned and unloved and lost. My Mom pulled me aside one night, and let me cry and whine on her shoulder for a good hour or so. She then counseled me to say my prayers more sincerely and to read my scriptures more intently. I did so that night, and ran across this scripture. It reads:
As I started my senior year, I expected one thing: normality. I thought that it would be much like my other years of schooling, with the exception of applying for college and scholarships. I looked forward to being with my friends again. I expected certain classes to be a challenge, but I felt confident I could keep up and do well. I thought my life would be (somewhat) calm.
How wrong I was.
As I've mentioned in earlier posts, one of my best friends was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the third day of school. While I definitely was not the person who suffered the most through that hard time (she herself gets that award, closely followed by her family), I felt a lot of pain. Even now, realizing how crazily close I came to losing one of my best friends, I feel so lost. I thought I had "gotten over" it and moved on, but apparently, I have not. My school work has suffered. My grades have hit an ultimate low, and my attendance record is far from perfect. I have lost my former desire to excel in classes, to an extent, and it's hard to get up some mornings, knowing I'll have to go to school. The thought of applying for college and scholarships has become overwhelming. I stress out over ridiculously small things. I've had little or no desire to attend church meetings. In short, I've been depressed.
Just when I thought things could not get any worse, I received news of the unexpected death of a friend. This boy, Adam, was a member of my family cast from Nauvoo. He had really made me feel welcome and special during those two weeks. After the pageant, my family got to visit their home and spend a day with them again, which is a memory I cherish. Adam had the best smile and the kindest personality. It really hit me hard to hear about his death. I still can't believe he's gone.
I've entered a sort of dark hole, if you will, that I'm really struggling to get out of. I tried to do it on my own (silly me, I know), and when that didn't work, I got really frustrated. I was just kind of angry in general. I felt abandoned and unloved and lost. My Mom pulled me aside one night, and let me cry and whine on her shoulder for a good hour or so. She then counseled me to say my prayers more sincerely and to read my scriptures more intently. I did so that night, and ran across this scripture. It reads:
"But, behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me--but he will show that he hath not. For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."
1 Nephi 21:14-16
I bawled after reading that. I was not forgotten. I was--am!--loved. I have a Savior who knows exactly what I'm going through, and He will not leave me. I took a lot of comfort and strength from this, and made it through a hard weekend and a few more days. . . and then lost it again. I struggled all through last week, and by the time General Conference rolled around, I was just done. I ached for something to be said during Conference that would help me, but when nothing came (probably because I was too busy wallowing in self pity), I felt alone and abandoned once more.
Finally, after going down into my room, I felt like I should pray. I knelt down and poured out complaint after complaint to the Lord, and do you know what? He listened. After I had finished my list of worries and fears and hurts, I felt such a quiet peace and love--something I have not felt in a month and a half. Those doubts, stresses, pains, and fears are still there, but I know that I can make it through. This month and a half of depression is not the end. I have a direction. I have an end goal. And it will be all right. With the Lord's help, I will be able to do anything.
My Lord has not forsaken me. And neither has my family or friends.
"My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment . . . [and] thou shalt triumph."
Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Girls' Camp 2013
So, I found my Girls' Camp Journal today, and I realized that my final Girls' Camp experience really needed its own post. So here it is!
As I mentioned in Summer Reflections, our theme this year was Brave, which was an acronym for Bold, Righteous, and Valiant Examples. (Get it? Get it?!) :) We had some amazing "solo time packets" this year. A solo time packet is a packet that each girl receives at the beginning of the week with quotes, talks, scriptures, questions, and a whole bunch of good stuff like that. Each day, we get to study one page and write in our journals. I love solo time! Solo time was the time where I had the chance to really think about what I was learning and to figure out how to apply it to my life.
On the first day, during solo time, we were asked to write down the Young Women's theme in our journals. As I wrote those special words, I remembered how much our Heavenly Father really loves us. We are His daughters, born with a divine potential to become just like Him! He wants us to have eternal happiness, and expects us in return to stand for Him and to be brave.
The next couple of days had amazing solo times as well! Here are some of my favorite quotes/thoughts/etc. from that week:
As I mentioned in Summer Reflections, our theme this year was Brave, which was an acronym for Bold, Righteous, and Valiant Examples. (Get it? Get it?!) :) We had some amazing "solo time packets" this year. A solo time packet is a packet that each girl receives at the beginning of the week with quotes, talks, scriptures, questions, and a whole bunch of good stuff like that. Each day, we get to study one page and write in our journals. I love solo time! Solo time was the time where I had the chance to really think about what I was learning and to figure out how to apply it to my life.
On the first day, during solo time, we were asked to write down the Young Women's theme in our journals. As I wrote those special words, I remembered how much our Heavenly Father really loves us. We are His daughters, born with a divine potential to become just like Him! He wants us to have eternal happiness, and expects us in return to stand for Him and to be brave.
The next couple of days had amazing solo times as well! Here are some of my favorite quotes/thoughts/etc. from that week:
"Your testimony, when constantly nourished, will keep you safe."
-Thomas S. Monson
"Your strength will come as you strive daily to increase your testimony of the Savior by praying and reading in the Book of Mormon."
-Young Women General Presidency
"Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed: the courage to say "no," the courage to say "yes." Decisions do determine destiny."
-Thomas S. Monson
"Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us. My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith."
-Thomas S. Monson
Can you tell I have a slight obsession with quotes? Ha ha. Anyway, during that week, we were privileged to have the amazing Meg Johnson speak to us. Meg was paralyzed from the stomach down in a freak accident, in the middle of her dancing and leg-using career. As she told us her story and shared with us what she has learned, one thing she shared really stuck out to me. She related how after returning home from the hospital in her new wheelchair, she sat staring at herself in the mirror. As she studied her newly crippled body, she began to cry and wish that her accident had never happened. She then heard a voice say:
"Don't covet because I have given you more."
She went on to explain that she really has been given more. Through her experience, she has learned a lot and has been able to touch many peoples' lives. She has been able to feel so much love from Heavenly Father, both for her and for others around her.
This really touched me. I feel that I, too, have been given more, although maybe not as dramatically more as Meg has been given. But how many times have I watched a normal height girl walk by, and jealously wondered how easy it must be for her to find jeans, shoes, or a date for that matter? Or how many times have I stood next to my friends and wished that I didn't feel like an awkward monster? How many times have I coveted because I have been given more? Too many times to count, unfortunately.
On the flip side, how many times have I really appreciated the fact that I have been given more? I have felt God's love, more often than I can count. I have been complimented hundreds of times on how I carry myself, tall and unashamed. I know that I am a precious daughter of a King. I have promises of eternal happiness and glory. I know that I have a Savior, who suffered personally for my sins and my pains and my sadness. He understands and knows me better than I know myself. I understand my divine nature, and recognize that everyone around me has that same worth. I am stronger than I thought possible. I understand pain more than I thought possible. I understand love more than I thought possible. And my journey has only begun.
I am so grateful for my "more." I hope you, too, are grateful for your "more."
Thanks for reading, and I hope you come back soon!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
True Strength
So, once upon a time, three best friends started their senior year of high school. They survived through the first two days, and even had some classes together! They had a blast in Chamber Choir, and couldn't wait for what the rest of the year would bring.
Then, on the third day of school, one of the friends had an MRI that discovered a tumor in her brain. She was rushed to the hospital and put into the ICU because the doctors were worried she would have a seizure that could potentially kill her. She was scheduled for an emergency brain surgery the following morning, which also happened to be her 17th birthday.
Meanwhile, another one of the friends got home from school. She turned on her phone to find a text message from her best friend's mother, telling her about the tumor and asking her to let everyone know. An hour and a half later, this friend had to go to work after telling everyone what was going on, leaving a whirlwind of questions behind her.
That night, the two best friends couldn't stand to leave their other best friend alone in the hospital. They, along with four other close friends, drove in near complete silence for a half hour. Since their friend was in the ICU, they were not allowed to see her, but their cards and well wishes were delivered to her room by a kind nurse. The friends then returned home.
During the next twenty-four hours, countless prayers were said. Friends fasted. Phones were out between every class period, the owners desperately checking for updates on their friend. The surgery got postponed. Then she went in. Then she was done, and the tumor was out.
But she still wasn't back home. And her two best friends still hadn't seen her. And her two best friends desperately missed her. More prayers were said. She couldn't eat. Even more were said. And then, she was able to come home. Only four days had passed since her brain surgery. Her best friends went to her house at 7 that morning to tape posters and notes to her garage to welcome her home. And later that day, the three were finally reunited. One had lost some hair and a tumor, the other two had lost sleep and failed quizzes worrying about her. She was tired, but she was talking. And even though her two best friends still worried about her, they knew she was going to be all right.
Two days later, her miraculous recovery had only continued. Her two best friends marveled as she walked, talked, and acted just like her old self. The three stayed up late on a school night catching up and modeling wigs. They laughed. They smiled. They even cried a little bit. Everything felt almost normal again. Prayers of gratitude were said that night. All three knew there was still long road to reach complete recovery, but hope and peace were found.
I know that prayer and fasting works. Our Heavenly Father is watching over us, listening, and He will bless us. I owe the life of one of my best friends to Him. He loves us, and will not desert us. He will carry me and my friends, especially my friend who has suffered the most, through this trial. We are his daughters and sons with infinite worth. Miracles happen, and will continue to happen for all of us and for my dear friend. God is the true and only source of strength, peace, and hope.
I love you all.
Then, on the third day of school, one of the friends had an MRI that discovered a tumor in her brain. She was rushed to the hospital and put into the ICU because the doctors were worried she would have a seizure that could potentially kill her. She was scheduled for an emergency brain surgery the following morning, which also happened to be her 17th birthday.
Meanwhile, another one of the friends got home from school. She turned on her phone to find a text message from her best friend's mother, telling her about the tumor and asking her to let everyone know. An hour and a half later, this friend had to go to work after telling everyone what was going on, leaving a whirlwind of questions behind her.
That night, the two best friends couldn't stand to leave their other best friend alone in the hospital. They, along with four other close friends, drove in near complete silence for a half hour. Since their friend was in the ICU, they were not allowed to see her, but their cards and well wishes were delivered to her room by a kind nurse. The friends then returned home.
During the next twenty-four hours, countless prayers were said. Friends fasted. Phones were out between every class period, the owners desperately checking for updates on their friend. The surgery got postponed. Then she went in. Then she was done, and the tumor was out.
But she still wasn't back home. And her two best friends still hadn't seen her. And her two best friends desperately missed her. More prayers were said. She couldn't eat. Even more were said. And then, she was able to come home. Only four days had passed since her brain surgery. Her best friends went to her house at 7 that morning to tape posters and notes to her garage to welcome her home. And later that day, the three were finally reunited. One had lost some hair and a tumor, the other two had lost sleep and failed quizzes worrying about her. She was tired, but she was talking. And even though her two best friends still worried about her, they knew she was going to be all right.
Two days later, her miraculous recovery had only continued. Her two best friends marveled as she walked, talked, and acted just like her old self. The three stayed up late on a school night catching up and modeling wigs. They laughed. They smiled. They even cried a little bit. Everything felt almost normal again. Prayers of gratitude were said that night. All three knew there was still long road to reach complete recovery, but hope and peace were found.
I know that prayer and fasting works. Our Heavenly Father is watching over us, listening, and He will bless us. I owe the life of one of my best friends to Him. He loves us, and will not desert us. He will carry me and my friends, especially my friend who has suffered the most, through this trial. We are his daughters and sons with infinite worth. Miracles happen, and will continue to happen for all of us and for my dear friend. God is the true and only source of strength, peace, and hope.
I love you all.
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